I had a manager who, in a performance evaluation, once listed my strengths and interests as the complete opposite of what I thought of myself. Things that I know are not my strengths were listed as my top skills. The things that I know I am amazing at, I got mediocre reviews on.
It was incredibly defeating to me. I felt un-noticed, unimportant and like he wasn’t paying any attention to me. My motivation level was at near zero. I felt like the person in charge of me wasn’t even paying attention to all the hard work I was putting in. “Does he even know me at all?”
I didn’t feel appreciated and the impact was huge.
Have you ever felt like this?
Being appreciated adds meaning to life. It makes us feel like we are valued and making an impact on others. We all need to feel this on some level. It strengthens bonds, it motivates us and let’s us know that what we work so hard on is being noticed. It lets us know on a deep level, that we matter.
In my case, I felt like I wasn’t been seen for who I thought I was and the ripple e
ffect was huge on my work performance, my relationship with him and my view of myself.
2 things to consider:
What do you want to be noticed for? What are the top 5 things that are important to you to be seen as? Getting clear on this is often the first step in clearing up any resentment you are feeling towards someone close to you. Recognize what you aren’t being seen for and why it triggers you.
Where do you need to speak up? I always say you teach people how to treat you and this is just another instance to practice this. In my case, I spoke up to my manager and told him exactly how I felt and we worked through it. Don’t assume that people know exactly what you need. If you are feeling resentment towards someone close to you, ask yourself what is really going on under the surface and where do you need to speak up. If you don’t speak up in these moments, make sure you take responsiblity for your role in letting it continue.
P.S. I’d love to have you in my private Facebook group, Passion Driven Life. I created this group for women who want more out of life. It’s a safe space for motivation, inspiration and empowerment. For the next 3 weeks, I’ll be live coaching a client to show you the power of coaching. Join us below!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/JessicaHetherington/
I am silver lining finder. Throw me in any situation and I’ll not only find something good but I’ll also find the opportunity. That’s exactly what brought me to my coaching career. 
