Last week, I had a conversation with someone who is arguably one of the most successful people I know. His work has appeared in a variety of publications and he is well-known in the financial industry. Interestingly enough, he says he still feels like an imposter and doesn’t consider himself an expert in any of his fields. I was shocked to hear this and at the same time I wasn’t. This is something I come across often when I talk to high achievers and something that has been documented many times in the field of psychology.

What is imposter syndrome?

Imposter syndrome is a belief system about yourself that is riddled with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt despite what external validation you get. It is a feeling of never being good enough and always doubting your greatness.

 

The feeling you are someday going to get “found out” and people will see what a fraud you really are.

 

So what’s the impact of this? Well, this particular person mentioned that he regularly doubts what his gut tells him. He puts too much authority into what others’ opinions are and doesn’t fully speak his mind. Now keep in mind we are talking about an Ivy League educated man who makes well over 6 figures. One would think he wouldn’t feel this way right? Wrong. Imposter syndrome is a just a symptom of something that many successful people have : Perfectionism.

 

The other problem is that with every accomplishment that you work so hard for, you feel as though you don’t deserve it. What a bummer!

 

Don’t suffer in silence. Learn to talk about these insecurities with someone whether it be a coach, a therapist or someone you trust.

 

Here are 4 ways to cope:

 

Recognize, accept, and celebrate the fact that you have had a role in your success: Yes, luck plays a role in life, we all know that. But it’s not everything. Any success you have right now is because you said yes and no to the right things.

Know your strengths: Ask 10 people in your life what they love about you and can count on you for. Now here is the kicker: Believe them. When you are feeling that familiar itch of imposter syndrome, remember what the people who know you best think of you.

Stop comparing yourself to others:

There is always someone who is going to know more than you or be better than you at A,B, or C. Listen up, you are you with your own unique strengths, skill set and experience level ! It’s fine to admire others but make sure it’s not at the expense of your own self worth.

( Read more about what I have to say about comparitis here, http://jessicahetherington.com/comparitis/)
Accept that you are not perfect and it’s OK:

Those with imposter syndrome are typically preoccupied with appearing  perfect to others.  This can be crippling and affect your life in many ways. Everything becomes very crafted and ultimately leads to an inauthentic presentation of your true self. This is the perfect fuel for imposter syndrome.

 

So, to those of you who this resonates with, what’s it going to take for you to finally feel like you have “arrived”? I have news for you. Life is happening now . This is IT. You HAVE arrived and wherever you are today is exactly where you are meant to be.